Therese Sta. MariaYou all are probably tired of hearing about Bridgerton by now, but admit it: This record-breaking Netflix series isn’t only a conversation starter with friends, but also a screenplay that was so creatively written that even non-regency fans turned into believers. The characters and personal love stories were the talk of the Internet when the series debuted, which attested to the relatability of fan-favourite characters.
Whether you’re taken, happily single, or a hopeless romantic, you’ll definitely walk away appreciating love lessons from Bridgerton. So, to usher in Valentine’s Day, let’s go through each love lesson we’ve learned from the most popular regency drama series to date!
1. Don’t let first impressions limit your relationships
Surprise, surprise. The main couple in the first season starts off on the wrong foot and the first impressions Daphne Bridgerton and Simon Basset Duke of Hastings have of each other are far from ideal. Duke Hastings thinks Daphne is bluffing when she says she doesn’t know who he is, and Daphne loathes Duke Hasting’s ego and reputation.
Without giving anything away, let’s just say they get over their differences and their relationship blossoms into something more promising. The bottom line being, it’s always better to give people a second chance after the first meeting. I mean, how many times have you thought someone looked like a snob just to realise that he/she is actually down-to-earth?
2. Love matches are real and not a figment of imagination
In the old days until the 18th century, arranged marriages in England were widely accepted and even considered the norm for women. Women oftentimes had no choice as they were used as economical tools by their families to rise in society’s ranks. In Bridgerton, we watch Daphne as she fights against this stigma and looks for a love match to emulate the example of her loving parents.
Although arranged marriages are a thing of the past now (for the most part), there are still a lot of people, mostly millennials, who can’t help but question if true love really does exist. You can’t blame them; we often hear about high-profile couples marrying just for the sake of settling down only to see the marriage reach a tragic end sooner than later. Amidst all the buzz, many share unsolicited opinions about the popular couple, and youngsters typically question whether “forever” is real.
But Daphne, against the culture of her time, eventually succeeds in finding her love match. Sure, she’s a fictional character, and yet she represents the rare and few women who were able to marry the person they loved in a time when everything was decided for them. If they can do it, people of today can too, right?
3. Communication is key
To be honest, most romance dramas wouldn’t even have a story if the characters just kept this fundamental principle in mind. But we all know that this is easier said than done. Although calmly communicating with your significant other (SO) from the get-go can solve a multitude of problems, sometimes the right words are hard to find. Or worse, your words could be completely misinterpreted.
This was precisely the case that caused an aching divide between Daphne and Duke Hastings in the middle of the series. And we all know how that turned out. If you still haven’t gotten that far in the drama, consider this love lesson a foreshadowing of what’s to come between the couple. By the time you get to that point, you’ll see just how badly this couple is at their communication skills. If you don’t want to suffer the same fate, you better polish up on your own speaking skills too!
4. Hiding your relationship from everyone else will just hurt both parties big time
This list of love lessons from Bridgerton wouldn’t be complete without looking at Anthony Bridgerton’s struggles with love. Smitten by an opera singer named Siena Rosso, Anthony is torn between finding a noblewoman fit for his status and continuing his affair with Siena. Despite their mutual attraction for one another, both of them get hurt due to the secrecy of their relationship.
Circumstances may cause people to keep their relationship a harmless secret at first, but to keep it that way until someone reaches his/her breaking point won’t always end with a happy ending. Anthony’s ending in Bridgerton Season 1 leaves a lot of Anthony fans unsatisfied. Good thing Season 2 will focus on him and his quest to find a wife, ey?
5. Hiding your past from your significant other is an even worse idea
Not just your past, but also pretty much everything that could be life-changing. Aside from Duke Hastings and Daphne being the obvious example for this, two more couples in Bridgerton see their “relationship” suffer because of secrecy: Mr. and Mrs. Featherington, and Marina Thompson and Colin Bridgerton.
Although both of these couples have entirely different situations, had Mr. Featherington been upfront about his gambling problem with his wife, and had Marina been honest about her motives towards Colin from the beginning, ruinous outcomes could have been avoided. Aside from communication, honesty and transparency are just as important when making any kind of relationship work.
6. Better yet, do a background check on the person you’re interested in (if possible)
Not to be overly evaluative, but it isn’t a bad idea to ask your friends about what they know of the person you’re eyeing. In the series, Anthony Bridgerton had mistakenly thought he had all the information about Nigel Berbrooke enough to approve of him to be his sister’s husband. Just when we thought Daphne was doomed to marry a slimy suitor, her mother devises a plan to get dirt on Berbrooke by means of gossip. The plan luckily worked, and they spread that dirt like wildfire to get Daphne out of a nasty arranged marriage.
Anthony learned a valuable lesson: Never underestimate the power of gossip. Kidding aside, small talk can lead to important bits of information you might be looking for. Who would have thought the Bridgertons would get dirt on Berbrooke through conversing with his house servant?
7. Improving relationships takes time and hard work
One of the most important love lessons from Bridgerton is that even the most ideal couples have to overcome challenges to improve their relationships. Daphne wanted a love match as her parents had, but it takes time for her to realise that even love matches need work to stay strong. In Lady Violet Bridgerton’s words, “Your father and I faced many difficulties indeed. But we overcame them. We made a decision earlier on to do so.”
No matter how perfect a couple seems to appear from an outside perspective, don’t let that fool you into thinking relationships or marriages are effortless. They require time, patience, and an everyday choice to love. That’s how lasting relationships survived back then, and that’s how lasting relationships survive even now.
8. If someone isn’t into you, then they’re just not into you
No matter who you are or how esteemed your status and background may be, if the person you like isn’t interested, better accept it. A decent Bridgerton character who actually took rejection gracefully is Prince Friedrich, the prince of Prussia. To be honest, he never held a candle to Duke Hastings, but the audience gets a more appreciative perspective of him when they witness how humbly he bows out and takes Daphne’s rejection as a respectable man. So to everyone else who doesn’t know how to handle rejection, this is your best reason to watch Bridgerton.
9. To a certain degree, your friends’ opinions about the person you like matter
When two people are in love, or at least besotted with each other, it’s easy for them to adopt a “you and me against the world” mentality. Such was Daphne’s drive when her brother disapproved of her courtship with Duke Hastings, as Anthony believed the duke wasn’t the type to be happy in marriage. You’d initially side with Daphne on the matter and only feel annoyance towards Anthony. But when you actually finish the whole season, you’ll realise that Daphne’s brother wasn’t completely wrong to be concerned about her courtship with the duke.
The duke does have reasons as to why he avoids marriage; reasons which Daphne discovers only after they marry. Perhaps if Daphne learned to value her brother’s opinion earlier, then misunderstandings could have been prevented and she would have saved herself from some pain.
In the same way today, couples, especially the youth, think they know exactly what they’re doing when embarking in a new relationship. In many ways, they do. But sometimes, it takes a friend or family member’s objective observation to see certain things that could possibly be amiss in the relationship.
10. Be careful not to let past traumas control your current relationships
Last but not least on this list of love lessons from Bridgerton is probably the hardest of them all: Not allowing past traumas to define your relationships. There’s a reason why Duke Hastings avoided marriage, and it isn’t a petty one. He had deep resentment towards his father and trauma from how he was treated as a child, which led him to loathe the idea of having children, even with Daphne.
It takes Daphne some time and a lot of effort (see #7) to convince Simon that starting a family together wouldn’t be the end of the world. By trusting in Daphne’s words, their relationship eventually transcends his fears and struggles.
There are those of us who have probably gone through relationships that have left us emotionally or psychologically wounded. Although it may be difficult to heal from them, allowing these traumas to affect our relationships with those who love us would be unfair to them as well. So, take the necessary steps to overcome your demons. Small steps they may be, at least they’re steps in the right direction.
Also read: Where Was Bridgerton Filmed? A Guide to The Show’s Real-Life Locations
Going through these love lessons from Bridgerton made me all the more excited for Season 2! If you haven’t watched it yet, Valentine’s Day would be a perfect time to start. Grab a date, or maybe just a girl friend to spend some time fanning over how gorgeous and awesome this regency drama is. Happy Valentine’s Day!
All images credited to Netflix.
