Jose Marie LiberoContributed by The Travel Visionary
The first time is always hard to forget and so is true with travelling. Your first trip away from home or your first trip outside the country will always be an unforgettable experience. It lingers, hovering like a fluffy cloud above your head and keeps you wondering and wandering.
One of the most unforgettable moments for me was when I first travelled solo. I was anxious. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done and I had no one else but myself to depend on. Well, I had my map and a little bit of courage. Yet, I felt it was an inevitable decision I had to make because I started to love travelling so much and going solo was part of the whole self-discovery.
Funny, looking back, I think I overdid my preparation. Imagine a short guy like me carrying a heavy backpack but ending the trip with too many unused clothes and money. I remember there were some short trips that I did on my own but did not consider them as an ultimate solo backpacking. Now that I’m more experienced, I believe those short trips were an essential part of the whole process of learning and understanding what solo backpacking is and how to do it.
The question I always get is, “Is it not scary or lonely travelling solo?”
Well, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of travelling alone – sitting on the bus, waiting for a flight, chilling on the beach or exploring a city on your own – and it’s completely understandable. Solo backpacking is not for everyone. But seriously, based on my experience, you are usually never alone because you will always meet new people to travel with.
Also read: Why Solo Travel is NOT for Everyone
Why does it seem scary or lonely?
I think for many, it’s scary because of the unknown. Human as we are, we are scared of what we do not know or understand; scared of unpredictability and vulnerability. Travelling solo will expose you to so many things that are outside your comfort zone. Just the thought of it is frightening.
So why do I do it?
Simple, it’s because I am comfortable with my own thoughts and I have learned the art of aloneness. In addition, I want to do so many things and see many places where being in a group sometimes is not possible. You constantly have to compromise to majority’s preference.
If you are one of those who are not prepared to be bored, to feel alone and homesick, and are not ‘yet’ comfortable with their own thoughts, guess what? It did not take me overnight to become a solo backpacker. I went through several experiences before I told myself I was ready for my first solo backpack trip.
Are you one of those who want to be a solo backpacker? Or someone who wants to try solo travel once and tick it off your bucket list? Here are some of my personal tips to prepare you for your ultimate solo backpacking journey.
Close to your heart
First, you need to understand if you even want to travel at all. See if you like exploring new places and meeting new faces. Or if you are someone who just stays at home, movie binging. Nothing’s wrong with it though. The best way to know is to join those who are close to your heart – your family and friends. Join them on road trips and vacations. Be it at the beach or mountain resort, from short to long distance trips. Anywhere. Just go! And do it as often as possible.
Then, slowly start to take responsibility in planning the trip like booking flights or hotel accommodation. This way, you get more comfortable with travelling and the whole logistics involved. You can also try to find a travel buddy, someone you trust and whom you can be comfortable with, someone who travels often and whom you can tag along. Observe how your companions do it. The closer they are to you, the more enjoyable the travels become.
Also read: 10 Awkward Struggles Every Solo Traveller Has To Deal With
The simple things
Have you experienced eating in a restaurant with someone who bores you and then you just tune out and look across the room and see someone eating alone? And then you start to envy him for enjoying this own company? I probably am that guy. You see, most of the solo travellers are comfortable on their own. I myself go to movies alone to avoid watching with noisy friends or see movies no one from my friends want to watch. I walk in the park alone and enjoy people watching. These little things make you comfortable with yourself. Try going to a coffee shop or restaurant, party in a club or sit under a tree in a park, take a long walk – ALONE.
Observe your own thoughts. Observe people. Experiment on being alone for a few hours with music, a good book or a gadget or completely do nothing. See how comfortable you are with yourself. Test your limits. You need to learn how to be alone. Trust me. You will understand yourself more as you get more comfortable in dealing with your feelings and differentiate aloneness from loneliness. One of my favourite inspirational videos is “How to Be Alone” written by Tanya Davis. Make time to watch the four-minute video and you’ll see what I mean.
What is it you seek?
I think one of the pitfalls of travelling is not understanding what you really want to experience. For some, they travel to have fun with friends, get tan, swim, and that’s it. It’s a form of travelling too, vacationing, I would say. Others, like me, seek something deeper, something that uplifts and connects to one’s soul which involves culture, meeting people and hearing life stories. And in order to enjoy solo backpacking, you must understand what is it you seek.
Visit museums alone and see if you like arts and culture. Visit pubs with bands and see if you like music. Try out different restaurants and dishes. Everyone loves food. Discover if you are a foodie. Visit some of your local villages and strike up a conversation with strangers and see if you have the interest in meeting people from different walks of life. Join friends in trekking, jogging or biking in parks and mountains to see if you like the outdoors. Go find that personal special purpose. Until you discover what you seek, you will be lost in your aspiration in solo backpacking. Starting today, ask yourself, what is it you seek when you travel?
Also read: You and The World: The Apex of Solo Travel
Within your safe zone
Go on a solo trip within your hometown or somewhere near where you don’t need to stay overnight. A beach resort that is an hour’s drive from home or maybe the heritage park near you sounds like a good idea. Try anywhere near home where you can easily wriggle your way out when you don’t feel like it anymore. You have to start with baby steps.
So near, yet so far
Once you’ve tried a trip alone to nearby places within your hometown and feel okay with it, bring it up a notch by going for an overnight solo out of town trip. Somewhere near and fairly accessible. Try to get lost and ask directions. You’ll be pleased to know that most people are willing to help. When you feel bored and uncomfortable, you can easily get on a bus and be back home the next day. This exercise will make you understand your level of tolerance for aloneness in far, yet accessible places.
The unfamiliar familiar
From all the vacations and trips you had with your family and friends, there’s always this special place you’d like to go back to. Book a trip back to this place and see it through a lone traveller’s eyes. I call this the unfamiliar familiar. I suggest you choose a far destination. I’m sure there are things you wanted to do like visit a museum or try a popular local restaurant you heard of but because you were with family or friends, you had to skip it. This is your time to revisit that ‘familiar’ place but with an ‘unfamiliar’ feeling of being alone. This way, you can do things as you please and no one will judge you for it.
The wild one
My best tip for starters is to join an organised tour group or joiners. These are the promotions you see online where a tour organiser prepares everything for you from flight to airport pickup and tours. By joining tour groups, you learn to interact with other people or most likely, you will be forced. There will always be that one or two joiners who strike up a random conversation. Go with the flow. Have fun. You’ll learn to open up a little bit, relax and be comfortable meeting and talking to strangers.
Rarely alone
Remember when I said earlier that you are rarely alone when travelling solo? That’s because anywhere you go, you will always meet someone. Unless you act anti-social, always sporting a resting bitch face, then you probably will not have much company. But the beauty of travelling solo is that it opens you to the opportunity of meeting people from all walks of life. You learn to trust. One of the perks I get is to split the bills amongst fellow travellers who are solo too. I usually get inside tips about other places I want to go to from people I meet. We share travel experiences and stories. Some even started their love story by meeting along the road. Maybe you can finally find your ‘forever.’ The opportunities are endless.
Also read: Solo Travel: Why It is Good for the Soul
Solo backpacking is not rocket science but there is no exact formula to learn it. I hope these personal tips of mine help if you are curious in exploring solo backpacking. You may be ready now without you even knowing it. Realise that no one is completely prepared for anything until they are exactly left in the position. But no one’s going to throw you out there if you don’t get your ass off that couch.
Take the first step. Slow down. Don’t worry too much. Trust yourself.
Travel at least once in your life because there’s nothing to be afraid of.
